Does Your Teen Know What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like?

We all pray that someday our teens will meet the man or woman they can spend forever with. Someone who is kind, who we can trust, and that they will be safe with, but how do we ensure they will know that person when they find them? Here are a few things we can do to help.

• Model healthy behavior - What many people call parenting can seem more like bullying. Using threats, physical punishment as the only method of discipline along with shame and guilt. A child who grows up like this will more than likely continue these patterns into adulthood or marry someone who keeps it going.
  

• Model healthy communication - do you want an "in-law" that yells at your child? One that demeans them, calls them names, puts them down. - Then we have to be the voice they hear inside of their minds so that they have a reference point of healthy communication. If we fly off the handle and use our emotions as an excuse to say things that are unkind and unhealthy, then we are putting our child at risk
  

• Model Respect - Respect for their property, their space, their wishes. Respectful communication, don't interrupt or use sarcasm, etc.
  

• Model Self Respect - Some parents play the martyr; they allow themselves to be walked on as if that is the only way for the family to be happy. They end up losing respect from their family members in the process. This behavior will either teach children to take advantage of someone else's sacrifice or to walk all over someone who loves them.
  

• Let them see you argue - Many parents try to hide marital disagreements from their children in hopes of presenting a united front, but it is important that children see their parents disagree and remain agreeable. When parents have conflict but still maintain connection, seek to understand, respect each other's wishes all without abandoning themselves, this is an amazing lesson their memory banks will store for when they need it.
  

  No, I am not saying that parents are responsible for every case of unhappiness in their child's relationship, just that we are the first line of defense. There are some things we can do to give them a better shot in the arena of love and relationships. Do not despair if you haven't been so great at these things in the past, you can start today. Apologize and you can draw your teens attention to the right way of doing things, even if it is a struggle for you. it's not too late, start today!