Are You a Sexual Hypocrite?

Believe me that phrase was as painful for me to write as it was for you to read. First of all, let's talk about definitions, what does the phrase sexual hypocrite mean? A hypocrite is a person whose behavior contradicts their stated beliefs or feelings. So, a sexual hypocrite would be someone's whose sexual life contradicts what they have stated they believe or even what they feel or know to be true. Many Christians will say "Amen" to preachings about faithfulness, abstinence, avoiding fornication and sexual sin but the same amount find themselves embroiled in the very things they know their religion is against. Why? Here are a couple of reasons. They have heard the teachings but have no knowledge about what that looks like in everyday life. Perhaps you've read the scripture that says "Flee youthful lusts" - but what does that look like exactly? If they are sitting in class and a beautiful or handsome co-ed sits next to them, are they supposed to get up and run out of the building?

Christianity is compartmentalized. It is not uncommon for religious people to go to the trouble of going to church but that's all it is. They view church going and listening to sermons as a one-time act they do to check a box. There is no intention to actually understand and live out what is being said. No role models actively living this kind of life - They have never seen it in real time. It's almost like hearing about unicorns but never seeing them. Maybe they exist somewhere but it is not part of their experience.

Everybody else is doing it - this dovetails with the last one, since they do not have any direct role models living the kind of life they have heard about, they follow what they do see. People claiming Christ but still living in direct opposition to what He teaches. The idea that everyone is a sinner and that holy living is impossible. - Do what you do and ask forgiveness later. In the churches I attended as a teen, this was called "greasy grace." A belief in grace that was without personal responsibility and that allowed you to get away with anything because after all...God is love. No surrender to the Holy Spirit - The flesh (human nature) and the spirit of God inside every believer is constantly warring against each other. This is why we fall asleep when our spirit wants to pray, why we eat one too many hot chips when something inside us told us to quit (not that I have any experience in that). When we listen to the flesh time after time, rather than the spirit, it becomes a reflex for us. It just gets easier. There are many Christians who have never built the muscle of obedience. They are used to obeying the flesh in everything, so that is what wins out. In the arena of sexual activity, the result is no different. The flesh cries out and they obey - leading to sexual sin. They have not learned to submit fully to the Holy Spirit and do what is right in the sight of God no matter how uncomfortable it makes their body feel. How Can You Avoid Being a Sexual Hypocrite? Take practical steps -Scripture says, "let the one who stands take heed lest he fall." - we are all human and prone to sin. That's not allowance but we should recognize our weaknesses and plan for it. We should never be alone with the opposite sex or do anything that puts us in jeopardy of falling into temptation. I have known godly men who would not allow a woman into their car by herself.  People striving for godliness have been known to get rid of their computer and go back to a "dumb" phone rather than deal with temptation every day. Progressive people may think this is way over the top, but if we truly want to live righteously, we have to make those adjustments to our lives. Think of it this way, when a person is trying to lose weight, what is the better path to their objective, buying Oreos and other junk food and trying to use willpower to not eat it, or to simply not buy it or have it in the house in the first place? Find like-minded people - Remember Elijah and the prophets of Baal? He was convinced that he was the only one walking in righteousness and God had to set him straight. "I have 7,000 men who have not bowed their knee to Baal." You're not the only one living for God, even if it feels that way. Now with internet, there are ways to find your people. Find podcasters who are committed to God in their singleness, find young men in your city who are keeping themselves busy with working out and volunteering and being purposeful with their lives. I guarantee there is a group somewhere of people who want to have sexual integrity.

Realize that Christianity is not something we do by watching someone else. Being a Christian involves action. That begins with active listening during sermons. Do this by taking notes and writing down one thing you can do that week. Such a simple thing can retrain your brain into active mode, rather than being a person on the sidelines. Taking an active part in your relationship with Christ in all areas will spill over into your sexual life and you will start actively following Christ in that area as well. Become Active in Your Faith- You can become more engaged by listening attentively during sermons, taking notes, and writing down one practical step to apply each week. This will help shift your mindset from simply observing, to actively living out your faith. As you grow more intentional in your relationship with Christ, that same intentionality will begin to shape your sexual life as well. Understand that sinless living is impossible, but we can "sin-less." We are completely capable of surrendering to Christ and gaining victory over sin. That's why Christ died. Jesus Christ lived a sinless life as a man completely surrendered to the Holy Spirit. "The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in you." No where in scripture does it suggest that we surrender to sin because we are human. In every verse it tells us to stand, to fight, to resist, to flee, etc. When it comes to sin, we can act in ways to overcome it. It takes a want to, it takes action, it takes practice and surrender to the Holy Spirit to do what is right no matter what, even when it is uncomfortable. Get used to being uncomfortable - Soldiers on leave of absence have been known to restrict their diets, sleep on the floor, take cold showers, why? They never want to grow so accustomed to comfort, that they are of no use on the battlefield. What if Christians had the same mindset? Fasting is one of the ways we keep our body in check. Fasting announces to the body, you will not control me, my spirit will be stronger than my desires...period! If sexual hypocrisy has been all too prevalent in your life, you can stop that pattern. Start today.